Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

I assume you at the best in public, right? March 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 10:03 pm

I just came back from the local pharmacy. A woman was there with her children – four or five of them.  None under the age of 5, but you would think they were.  As little attention she paid to her kids, she did get involved when they seemed to somewhat out of control – she yelled. Yes, she yelled “Stop that”.  As you can tell, it was highly effective.  Her kids stopped.

Or, you can actually be there and realize that her children completely ignored her in every sense of their being.  One child, the only son, ignored his mother’s requests to come sit back down to the point where she sent another daughter over to tell him to sit down.  His DSi kept him from acknowledging his sister.

When he was called to the window to pick up the prescription, the mother finally got up, irate and told the pharmacist that her shouldn’t have been in line.  I enjoyed the fact that the pharmacist laughed through it all, even though there was a line building behind me.  The mother wasn’t ready to pay because she was waiting for another prescription for another child.  Instead of communicating that to her son, she kept complaining to the pharmacist.

Is this how we communicate to our children? Or should I say, not to them?  Complain to people standing by and around and hope the child acknowledges?

Anyway, I’m done with my rant for the day.

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I have a 7 year old March 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 5:32 am

My son turned 7 a few weeks ago, and I made the diabolical mistake of saying he was 6. Somehow, I’m a mom.

This may sound weird for those millions of women who not only regularly have children, but bask in the wonder and embrace the important role of motherhood. But me, after 7 years, I’m still getting comfortable with the idea.

My son walks into the room, ready to talk to me about the endless supply of random topics he seems to have. He asks yet again a random question, ‘do you know about the blue man who plays the drum?’ As usual, I don’t know what he’s talking about, and I do my best to engage him in a conversation. But after a long work day, it’s hard, really hard. I’m tired, still need to prepare dinner, feed my son and husband, and put them both to bed.

This is stressful and hard. Where are the books on coping with the pains of raising a child, when you’re so exhausted, you can’t think straight. Where are the books that keep you going when your well intentioned child asks you to do that one additional thing, even though you want to sleep.

To this day, I don’t know how single moms do it. How do you keep yourself when much of you is invested in another human being?

I love my son and love watching him grow. I’m glad he’s in my life.

 

I’m starting to Hate Facebook March 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 11:04 pm

Hate Facebook? Why, you may ask.  Well, if you’re still reading, of course you’re asking why.

I’m a homebody.  I wish I was someone surrounded by friends every weekend, where we go out and party, share babysitting responsibilities, sleeping over their house because you were there too late or just couldn’t drive home.  I don’t have that. I have friends.  According to Facebook, I have 1582 of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a good number of them who aren’t friends. I started playing some of the games on FB, and realized that I needed friends to play them.  I don’t like annoying friends with something I probably shouldn’t be doing anyway.  So, I added a bunch of people from these game groups who I knew would play the game, and I wouldn’t waste time, energy, effort trying to recruit those who had no desire to play.  We can probably remove 1100 for that purpose.

That leaves approximately 482 people that I actually know and have associated with at some point.  482 who my main correspondence with them is through FB. 482 family, friends, colleagues, business associates and acquaintances that I have access to communicating regularly. 482 people that I probably interact with once or twice a year. Of course, that’s still more contacts than a lot of people using FB.

But I’m lonely.  I’m not alone.  I have a wonderful husband who loves me and I him.  I have a son who is great and the cutest thing ever (of course, all moms say that, but if we didn’t, who would?).  But on the friendship level, I’m lonely.

I have had a few close friends in my life. I can go into details, which I will in later blogs, but most ended roughly and suddenly.

Back to FB.  FB reminds me how much fun other people are having, how many parties I’m not invited to, how much time this person hangs out with this person.  Most of all, it reminds me how much time I spend at home, without friendship. FB shows me all of those people in which I used to be intertwined have gone on as if I wasn’t there (which I know I’m not).

Before FB, you could have gone out and had a great time, and if that person wasn’t invited, for whatever reason, you wouldn’t tell them about it.  Now, every sober and drunken picture ends up in their News Feed.  You don’t even have to post it – someone who also attended the party decides to tag you and it ends up in the uninvited person’s News Feed.

I know I’m completely unreasonable and irrational especially considering most of the people that I’ve spent post-high school time with don’t even live near me.  It was me that moved away. I would love to be in those areas again, enjoying as we grow up, progress in our careers, and have families.  And every time I see these posts in the News Feed, I realize how out of the loop I am.

Damn, Facebook!

 

No Longer High December 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 6:22 am

The Christmas high has worn off   and I still feel pretty good. My son is still extremely happy, my husband’s home for the week, and the tree glows brightly in     our quaint living room.

As we watch Californication, my husband works and I blog. I’m new at this blogging thing, meaning we’ll see if I do can actually do this on a regular basis. I’m trying to set a lot of new goals this year, not random goals, but several that I’ve been working on for a while.

1. Blogging. Not because I think I’m important, but I find that when it comes to doing something just for myself, I don’t do it. So, if anyone does end up reading this, leaving comments will let me know that someone’s reading it.

2. Exercise. I’m fat, I want to be fit. That’s all.

3. Self-employed. I want to spend more time with my son and less with a job.

4.  Vacation more. I would like to take more trips.

That’s all. I hope to write more soon.

 

Bittersweet Christmas December 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 5:55 am

Preface: I love Christmas and I especially love giving.*

This Christmas was great! For the first time, I was able to purchase everything my son put on his  . Well, ok, this is the first year he’s written a wish list. But in seeing it, my eyes did not get wide, nor did I stress. With planning, we were able to purchase every gift with cash.

I stayed up late on Christmas eve, to finish decorating, checking and wrapping the biggest gifts, placing them under the tree and taking a picture to remember and be grateful for all that I have and the ability to provide wants as well as needs for my family. The tree topped it off with the scent of pine.

Christmas morning was a busy one. We attended the Christmas service at 8 am, but as a choir member, I was expected to be there at 7. A beautiful service was received by my ever-do-patient son, who had to wait to open his gifts. He helped me cook breakfast for the family, only to be so excited by the gifts that he did not eat. Gifts were unwrapped one at a time, in order: son, dad, mom. Cleaning up as we went along.

I was very proud of my son, his patience, his willingness to listen and his appreciation. It was a nice.morning and everyone was happy and grateful for their gifts.

My siblings decided that they wanted to drop over for a bit. I wasn’t expecting much, really nothing, but held out hope that some things would change. They came over around noon, without a gift, not so much as a card in hand. I wasn’t surprised, but it hurt still the same. After a couple of hours chatting and playing Wii, I found out that their next destination was my father’s house. Well, he was the man who was in the house while I was growing up, the only man close enough to be a father figure. He was hosting a Christmas dinner, for his children – the two whom he contributed to their birth. At that point, I realized that I was thought of so minimally that the fact that they were invited and I was not was not even questioned. Not even enough to keep it a secret.

This is the household I grew up in and was created for me. This action, or lack thereof, was the theme of my life. I’ll change that, is the theme of my life with the family who raised me. It has been nothing, if not consistent.

I am grateful for the family that I have entered into and chosen. I am grateful for the life that lies ahead. As the holidays pass by, I hope to leave behind my past.

 

Year 2012 November 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 10:29 am

Without promotion in the month(s) leading up to this year’s election, I will continue to study and blog up until this next election. Only two days to go and I’m completely disappointed by my options. I know that the next few years, at least two, will be more of the same or worse. I hope that o can gain a following, not for me, but to save and change California.

 

About to Lose Credit September 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 2:39 am

So, many months ago, when I actually thought the economy would rebound, I opted out of my banks’ option to automatically increase my interest rate from 6.99% to 17.99% (so I was told). I was very prudent – asking if I had to “opt-in” now or could I decide later, what the new interest rate would be, and how long did I have to decide. Well, I guess the person on th ephone was either an idiot or just wanted to get off the phone. I was told that I could opt back in at any time before the card expired and my interest rate would increase at that time. I asked several times to confirm that was the deal.

Of course, today, that was not the deal. I asked them to pull up the recorded conversation, only to find out that they can’t and won’t do it. I get to “reapply” for credit with a company that I’ve faithfully been paying my bills for 12 years (without one late payment), only to find out that my potential new interest rate is 30% which is almost equal to usery). Seriously? I’ve been a great paying member, low credit risk for 12 years, but my interest rate can easily go to 30%. I’m going to do something about this nonsense.

If anyone knows how to start a political party, let me know.