Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

Final: 108 May 23, 2012

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 1:46 pm

We were finally released. I just realized I hadn’t sent through a post I started a couple of days ago. Not a lot went on, mainly we were watching her sodium and potassium levels and they needed to be stable before we could leave. The doctors had to adjust the meds to get there. Not fun.

I’m so tired and drained. The longer we were there, the longer B attached herself to me, understandably. But it was draining. See, B’s always a bit attached. But this was worse. She never wanted to be put down and even when she was playing, she didn’t want me to leave.

It hurt to see her get poked, her labs drawn over and over again. Her personality came out more and more while we were there, scowling at the lab techs, knowing their intentions, watching them traverse the room knowing what was coming. She hated them and you could tell, in her little 5 month old eyes.

Eventually lab decreased slowly from every two hours to every twelve hours. That in and of itself was a blessing.

But it’s all over. Well, not all. We have to go back for a follow up on Friday. She will have an ultrasound to key us know if she still has an enlarged kidney and if there’s still some bladder reflux.

then, three meds remain, the antibiotic, the sodium bicarbonate (to kill the acid in her stomach (alka seltzer)), the other one to regulate the potassium. It’s been a long week, but I’m back home. Time for bed. Good night.


Downward Spiral May 8, 2012

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 10:52 pm

I started out the day strong, very strong until I have to finish this email which was meant to be encouraging. The point of the email was that you will get through it. You will get through all the pain.

But in order to talk about how to get through it, I had to relive it. Relive the hurt, the sadness, the pain, the tears. I love my life. It’s better than I could ever have imagined. But it still hurts. And unfortunately when it hurts, I drink. Thankfully not crazily, but definitely in excess.

And right now it hurts. In three short weeks he would’ve been five. We would’ve thrown a huge party for him because that’s just what we do. I miss him.


I just melted… December 12, 2011

Filed under: Children,Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 11:23 am

I had my daughter, Brielle, on Friday. I fell in love. The anxiety of her future is still there but she is beautiful. I love my son, but there is something about this little girl that has me enamored.

Pictures to come!


Welcome New Baby! December 9, 2011

Filed under: Children,Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 4:57 am

On a day that promises to give me the gift of a new baby girl, my heart races, my hands shake, my mind is going in circles. This is my first prepped cesarean. I’ve had two others, but both of them were considered emergency. After two, very few doctors allow you to try a vaginal birth.

So, I’m about to have surgery. Yes, for all the right and glorious reasons, but it doesn’t stop me from being afraid. I know people talk about the benefits – choosing a date and time, knowing when they come instead of the sometimes anxiety that comes with the waiting and, of course, skipping that whole labor process.

None of that negates the fact that I’m about to be prodded with needles so they can bring me my bundle of joy. They literally take your insides out. So, the countdown begins…

Two and a half hours…


The biggest worry is… November 18, 2011

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 1:20 pm

Starting over. I don’t know how to be ready for it. My older child is independent, can do a lot of things on his own. From making breakfast, to making his bed, with prompting, he does a lot on his own.

But going back to changing diapers, and waking up in the middle of the night, it’s overwhelming. Of course at 36 weeks, there’s no turning back.

Any tips on readjusting? Is it any different the second time around?


Games November 17, 2011

Filed under: Family,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 9:30 pm

So my mother called, telling me of her plans to come. Of course, she didn’t ever ask what would be convenient for me or what I’d like. You think if be used to it by now. It’s dropped from 3 weeks to 2 weeks.

No idea where she’s staying. I don’t want to ask because I know she’d get others involved to try to bulky her way in. I think she was trying to determine whether I had space. She asked if we’d decided if the kids were always going to share a room? Do people always make decisions to influence the next 11 years of their life?

What seems more reasonable was her trying determine if we had ‘space to grow’ so she can find out if we had space for her to stay. Games. Always games. Sad.


I Have Feelings! November 16, 2011

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family,Mothering,Obesity — aprilgrant @ 1:10 pm

As much as I’m enjoying the aspect of me introducing a new one into the world, this pregnancy has done little more than to make me want to crawl up in a ball and cry. It’s bad enough that the pregnancy has made me tired, completely screwed my digestive system, gave me the worst acne of my life and made me physically ill for much of it, people, friends and strangers seem to feel the need to remind me of each part of me that’s different.

Get a couple new pimples “wow, she’s really messing with your hormones.” Not sleep well, “man, you look tired.”. Feel swollen, “your face is getting really round.”

Do people think before they speak? Am I supposed to feel better after someone makes the comment? Am I supposed to smile, explain, cry? Cause with hormones raging, I really want to cry and hide from people.