Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

Christmas Morning December 25, 2011

Filed under: Christmas,Family,Holidays — aprilgrant @ 9:04 am

This is a rambling post. Lots of thoughts are going through my head.

As I sit here feeding my Christmas gift, in the bedroom, waiting for my husband to return from church, I think about the last few days.

My mother has changed. My family has come together for the first time in years. I enjoyed myself.

We haven’t opened presents yet. My son patiently watches television.

I am happy, but wondering what will happen next.

My mother wanted us to discuss the reason for the season, what we would give the Lord, followed by recognizing and being thankful for the blessings in our life My husband led the evening as ‘the man of the house’ and the Christian man that he is. We went around the room sharing our thoughts and feelings.

The part that was the most troubling was that my sister openly said that she was thankful for her now ex-boyfriend’s mother and her education, with no mention of my mother (or the family for that matter).

As mich flak as I get for not making my mother feel ‘motherly’ or that I don’t call or give her enough attention, I think it’s very confusing that her words of not being thankful for anyone in our family ( all ok for me, because I know I haven’t been there), seem cutting. How do you sit next to your mom and not thank you or consider a blessing. Maybe its just me.

What do you think? Is it harsher to make it known that you’re not a fan if someone, or wait until a touching moment and basically act as though they don’t exist?

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My Thanksgiving November 28, 2011

Filed under: Family,Holidays — aprilgrant @ 12:55 pm

Overall, I would have to say that my Thanksgiving was pretty awesome! Yep, I said it – Awesome! For the first time in my life, I hosted. Why would I host for the first time when I’m eight and a half months pregnant? No idea.

But it had to be the best one I’ve had for a while. It was relaxing, people talked, joked, remembered, loved and laughed. People shared their lives and their experiences. People who are normally closed off had a lot to say and it was great.

Food was great. Semi-potluck style. I like it that way no matter where I go because people can bring their best dish. And it guarantees that everyone eats something, even if it’s just their own dish. But no worries, food was devoured. The first ten minutes after serving was nearly silent.

What surprised me most was the desire of most people to sit at the kitchen table to eat. I’ve only been to one other Thanksgiving where we ate at the table together. Only downside was the table was meant for six and about 10 people sat at the table. But it was nice. Everyone came in good spirits and seemed to enjoy themselves.

All except one family member. This particular person was the only one not to come to me as they entered. Damn, that sounds like I feel I’m special. I don’t and I’m not. It’s just that upon entry, every single other adult walked in and walked to me. Greeted me. Most said don’t stand. All said don’t come, I’ll come to you. Except this person.

This person walked in and walked to the living room, waiting to be greeted herself. She didn’t say hello. I noticed she came in, then noticed that I didn’t see her until I came partially out of the kitchen. I’m not sure if she was just angry or expected as the elder of the group to be greeted.

Then she took a phone call in the middle of prayer, while we were blessing the food. I’m not sure if she’s a believer and I don’t care, I just don’t understand how you talk during the prayer. It’s about 30 seconds long and you should shut your trap. A simple ‘Hold on’ to the person would’ve been sufficient, but I guess it was too much for her.

Finally, as everyone was departing, everyone this time approaching me to say their goodbyes, she stood near the door. Why come if you can’t be gracious to the host? It wouldn’t have been so bad if while she was standing by the door and everyone said ‘don’t stand’ and came to give me a hug, while she watched, said nothing.

The entry I could brush off to many other excuses, but the departure, I just don’t get. Do you have a family member like this? One who clearly is stepping to the side, but would never dream of just not attending? Although it would seem less awkward or rude?