Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

Scared Shitless April 5, 2012

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family — aprilgrant @ 3:23 pm

The infamous saying that ignorance is bliss is highly relevant here. I had my son 8 years ago. I never inquired, I never questioned, I never researched. I lived with my mother who had raised three children and at the same time was raising her own child.

I knew very little about SIDS. I’ll be honest. I figured that SIDS was what happened when you did stupid things around your child. Leaving loose items or fluffy items in the crib. Mainly because I don’t know anyone who’s died from SIDS. I still don’t.

But this time around, having an infant is hard. I’m scared to put her on her stomach, but she hates sleeping on her back. She’ll do it at night (probably because she’s exhausted during the day). But she doesn’t take naps during the day, or if she does, it’s 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. What that ends up meaning is by the time my son is home from school, she’s absolutely miserable. She’s exhausted, irritated and overall not that fun to be around. She wants to be held and does NOT want to be put down (she’ll tolerate a diaper change).

That’s really an aside. What this post is about is my fear of my daughter dying of SIDS. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be fearful, but after already losing a child, it’s hard to even wanting to take that chance. I have many friends who say “screw it. My son/daughter doesn’t sleep on his back, I put him/her on their stomach.”

I admire them. They do it with ease. Their kids sleep through the day – for 1-3 hour naps. Their kids are on a schedule. Mine… doesn’t.

But she had to get some sleep! Yesterday we had a rough day because I drank too much coffee on Tuesday. She was up all night, frustrated and whatnot. So she didn’t sleep yesterday almost at all, except in my arms. Last night, she slept fine, but today was a new day. She needed to get some rest.

I laid her on her tummy… checking on her every five minutes. I was scared. I was also worried because the constant checking could wake her up too. She had to get some sleep. She was exhausted. Over the last couple of days her sleeping has been very light.

So, I guess it’s running back and forth for me, constantly worrying that she’s stopped breathing in order for her to get a few extra winks.

Ignorance IS bliss.

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