Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

She looks like… April 9, 2012

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family — aprilgrant @ 12:55 pm

I hear it almost daily. I’m not sure what to say. I mean, I agree with them. My daughter looks like my husband.

I guess it’s to fill in voids in conversation. Or maybe it’s to let me know that they are looking at my child and they can see the resemblance.

I’d respond with something snarky like “Thank God! I don’t have to tell my husband about the affair, ” but I think coming from me, too many people would think that I was serious. If you’ve been reading for a while, you’d know I don’t joke much.

But back to the original topic. I know she favors my husband. I’m happy she does. I married someone whom I found attractive. I normally point out what I see of me in her (and in my son for that matter), but she and my son look the same at 3 months.

I think I’ve only mentioned it to someone else once because of a lull in the conversation. But please tell me why this is something to talk about? I don’t want a mini-me, so I don’t really care who she looks like…



Scared Shitless April 5, 2012

Filed under: Blogging,Children,Family — aprilgrant @ 3:23 pm

The infamous saying that ignorance is bliss is highly relevant here. I had my son 8 years ago. I never inquired, I never questioned, I never researched. I lived with my mother who had raised three children and at the same time was raising her own child.

I knew very little about SIDS. I’ll be honest. I figured that SIDS was what happened when you did stupid things around your child. Leaving loose items or fluffy items in the crib. Mainly because I don’t know anyone who’s died from SIDS. I still don’t.

But this time around, having an infant is hard. I’m scared to put her on her stomach, but she hates sleeping on her back. She’ll do it at night (probably because she’s exhausted during the day). But she doesn’t take naps during the day, or if she does, it’s 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. What that ends up meaning is by the time my son is home from school, she’s absolutely miserable. She’s exhausted, irritated and overall not that fun to be around. She wants to be held and does NOT want to be put down (she’ll tolerate a diaper change).

That’s really an aside. What this post is about is my fear of my daughter dying of SIDS. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be fearful, but after already losing a child, it’s hard to even wanting to take that chance. I have many friends who say “screw it. My son/daughter doesn’t sleep on his back, I put him/her on their stomach.”

I admire them. They do it with ease. Their kids sleep through the day – for 1-3 hour naps. Their kids are on a schedule. Mine… doesn’t.

But she had to get some sleep! Yesterday we had a rough day because I drank too much coffee on Tuesday. She was up all night, frustrated and whatnot. So she didn’t sleep yesterday almost at all, except in my arms. Last night, she slept fine, but today was a new day. She needed to get some rest.

I laid her on her tummy… checking on her every five minutes. I was scared. I was also worried because the constant checking could wake her up too. She had to get some sleep. She was exhausted. Over the last couple of days her sleeping has been very light.

So, I guess it’s running back and forth for me, constantly worrying that she’s stopped breathing in order for her to get a few extra winks.

Ignorance IS bliss.