Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

Belly Bump October 7, 2011

Filed under: Children,Mothering — aprilgrant @ 8:03 pm

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant.  At the beginning of my weight loss journey, I was by far not a small gal. Getting pregnant has shown me how uncomfortable it is to express myself to others.

Because of the loss of our previous son, I was hesitant to let people know that I was pregnant until I was five months pregnant (~20 weeks). I felt her growth in my clothes and saw the bump on my belly. My clothes were getting tighter and I had to change from regular clothes to maternity clothes.

I admit, clothes weren’t super tight, belly wasn’t super big. But the comments… when you’re pregnant and you feel fat and bloated, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I HATED people telling me that I didn’t look pregnant. Was it supposed to be a compliment?  Was it meant to make me feel better? The fact that my clothes are tight, my clothes don’t hang right and I’m wearing clothing that’s obviously too big and too long, telling me that I didn’t look pregnant made me feel fat – really fat. I mean, if I don’t look pregnant, then what did I look? What else would be the cause of this sudden change?

So, I started pushing out my stomach, forcing a bump where she is, making her as large as possible. Then I start getting comments “oh, you aren’t that far along” in response to how far I am. I know this has to be partly based on the hormones that rage through my body, since I can’t imagine it’s that insensitive, but I don’t care.  When you’re growing a baby, answering comments about weeks, how much time, etc are annoying.

Now, I’m six months – 30 weeks pregnant, she is apparent whether or not I try to push her out. The commentary now?

  • Wow! She popped out of nowhere.
  • I swear she wasn’t there a couple of weeks ago.
  • Man, you’re huge!

Get my drift? How is this helpful? What is this meant to accomplish? I get it from friends, acquaintances and strangers. Being pregnant is already not a comfortable state of being, so, why question her about her status? About her size (especially) and due date constantly.  (Side note: I’ve been asked by the same people several time when my due date is. If they care enough to ask, shouldn’t they care enough to remember?)

Again, I know this is a pregancy rant fueled by hormones, but just remember to make the pregnant woman in your life feel good. Reminding her how “big” or how “small” she is isn’t particularly helpful (unless she hasn’t moved up a size).

What are your pregnancy woes?

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