Open Session

Becoming a better parent through open discussion of parenting issues

I assume you at the best in public, right? March 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 10:03 pm

I just came back from the local pharmacy. A woman was there with her children – four or five of them.  None under the age of 5, but you would think they were.  As little attention she paid to her kids, she did get involved when they seemed to somewhat out of control – she yelled. Yes, she yelled “Stop that”.  As you can tell, it was highly effective.  Her kids stopped.

Or, you can actually be there and realize that her children completely ignored her in every sense of their being.  One child, the only son, ignored his mother’s requests to come sit back down to the point where she sent another daughter over to tell him to sit down.  His DSi kept him from acknowledging his sister.

When he was called to the window to pick up the prescription, the mother finally got up, irate and told the pharmacist that her shouldn’t have been in line.  I enjoyed the fact that the pharmacist laughed through it all, even though there was a line building behind me.  The mother wasn’t ready to pay because she was waiting for another prescription for another child.  Instead of communicating that to her son, she kept complaining to the pharmacist.

Is this how we communicate to our children? Or should I say, not to them?  Complain to people standing by and around and hope the child acknowledges?

Anyway, I’m done with my rant for the day.

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I have a 7 year old March 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 5:32 am

My son turned 7 a few weeks ago, and I made the diabolical mistake of saying he was 6. Somehow, I’m a mom.

This may sound weird for those millions of women who not only regularly have children, but bask in the wonder and embrace the important role of motherhood. But me, after 7 years, I’m still getting comfortable with the idea.

My son walks into the room, ready to talk to me about the endless supply of random topics he seems to have. He asks yet again a random question, ‘do you know about the blue man who plays the drum?’ As usual, I don’t know what he’s talking about, and I do my best to engage him in a conversation. But after a long work day, it’s hard, really hard. I’m tired, still need to prepare dinner, feed my son and husband, and put them both to bed.

This is stressful and hard. Where are the books on coping with the pains of raising a child, when you’re so exhausted, you can’t think straight. Where are the books that keep you going when your well intentioned child asks you to do that one additional thing, even though you want to sleep.

To this day, I don’t know how single moms do it. How do you keep yourself when much of you is invested in another human being?

I love my son and love watching him grow. I’m glad he’s in my life.

 

I’m starting to Hate Facebook March 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aprilgrant @ 11:04 pm

Hate Facebook? Why, you may ask.  Well, if you’re still reading, of course you’re asking why.

I’m a homebody.  I wish I was someone surrounded by friends every weekend, where we go out and party, share babysitting responsibilities, sleeping over their house because you were there too late or just couldn’t drive home.  I don’t have that. I have friends.  According to Facebook, I have 1582 of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a good number of them who aren’t friends. I started playing some of the games on FB, and realized that I needed friends to play them.  I don’t like annoying friends with something I probably shouldn’t be doing anyway.  So, I added a bunch of people from these game groups who I knew would play the game, and I wouldn’t waste time, energy, effort trying to recruit those who had no desire to play.  We can probably remove 1100 for that purpose.

That leaves approximately 482 people that I actually know and have associated with at some point.  482 who my main correspondence with them is through FB. 482 family, friends, colleagues, business associates and acquaintances that I have access to communicating regularly. 482 people that I probably interact with once or twice a year. Of course, that’s still more contacts than a lot of people using FB.

But I’m lonely.  I’m not alone.  I have a wonderful husband who loves me and I him.  I have a son who is great and the cutest thing ever (of course, all moms say that, but if we didn’t, who would?).  But on the friendship level, I’m lonely.

I have had a few close friends in my life. I can go into details, which I will in later blogs, but most ended roughly and suddenly.

Back to FB.  FB reminds me how much fun other people are having, how many parties I’m not invited to, how much time this person hangs out with this person.  Most of all, it reminds me how much time I spend at home, without friendship. FB shows me all of those people in which I used to be intertwined have gone on as if I wasn’t there (which I know I’m not).

Before FB, you could have gone out and had a great time, and if that person wasn’t invited, for whatever reason, you wouldn’t tell them about it.  Now, every sober and drunken picture ends up in their News Feed.  You don’t even have to post it – someone who also attended the party decides to tag you and it ends up in the uninvited person’s News Feed.

I know I’m completely unreasonable and irrational especially considering most of the people that I’ve spent post-high school time with don’t even live near me.  It was me that moved away. I would love to be in those areas again, enjoying as we grow up, progress in our careers, and have families.  And every time I see these posts in the News Feed, I realize how out of the loop I am.

Damn, Facebook!